i saw a really vivid sunset yesterday while walking ibarra. a large streak of orange sunlight cutting across a deep ash-blue. the traffic lights sharp in that dark. today is a sunny day and i'm slightly anxious about my follow-up appointments to the doctor and my optometrist. ah, getting olde.
happy new year! i didn't do any traditional new year's rituals to mark the year like i did for the last three years. i didn't even do the animal crossing countdown. though i woke up early yesterday (because i slept early! start the year right, etc.) and wrote in my notebook. again today. i'm thinking of new wall decor. i'm thinking origami.
more and more as i get older i realize the importance of holding space for people, giving them a chance to show up. when i was young there i had more urgency to form bonds (i wonder why when i had more time then). i'm leaning into the ebb and flow of connection as the years go by. it happens or it doesn't, there are no guarantees. this is both depressing and uplifting, depending on the day. today it's uplifting: i got a postcard from a friend whom i thought i wouldn't hear from for a long while.
my friend el talked about updating their website and so i suddenly remembered mine. much has happened since my last entry. end of the year blues in full swing, my mom is in the hospital, my dog is a bit lonely in a dark house and is trying to get into his sack of kibble. what helps me: daily journalling, chats with my siblings, crying, writing letters, routines, home-mixed blackberry soda, we love katamari and animal crossing. i may start ingesting some vitamin d supplements to help a little. looking forward to the solstice.
yesterday i saw so many corgis.
mid-spring in full swing! i've been turning down a lot of event invites, but i'm really gratified that folks have been inviting me to things. also, ibarra and i have been taking a walk mid-mornings when the sun is full out and the lighting reminds me so much of childhood. i've also begun drinking afternoon tea, it doesn't interfere with my sleep patterns as much as coffee does.
been a while since i updated this! i am actually writing from my new laptop. wiped off windows and installed linux mint. stuff i am enjoying lately: scrapbook/junk journalling ASMRs (love the sound of peeling stickers), eating meals outdoors in the yard, looking at the newly-sprung flowers in the neighbourhood. i am thinking of revamping this website but mostly i think i'll be satisfied adjusting the divs.
it is very blustery outside. the wind hits the walls in a scary way, vibrating as in a flat of the hand against heavy wood. i'm organizing my old art right now, scanning doodles without really looking back or judging. i know enough that time is crucial for pulling meaning from drawings. and anyway, they are a record of a mood. most of the drawings i scanned were from 2017. i went through the wringer that year. my priorities in an image changed somewhat.
my computer crashed last september and it's only now that i restored it. i can believe that i actually managed to go a month without my desktop, but then i was moving between tablet and my brother's laptop, so it was fine. what happened in october so far? i turned 35. i cleaned out the yard for the winter.
this html journal is part of 
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